Who Am I As A Communicator?

          As I reviewed the assignment for this week and I proceeded to evaluate myself, I was provided valuable information that will help me build a communication style that will allow me to express myself in a professional and meaningful matter. I was able to see that yes I am sometime uneasy in some communication situations and in other communication opportunities I am more confident.  I can certainly see that when I am in small settings or conducting one on one conversation I am more at ease with my dialogue.  When I am in a large group setting, I tend to become tense because I want to ensure that I stay on target and that the information that I am presenting comes across effectively.

          I do agree that I am apt to become aggressive when communicating with staff members about their performance especially when it becomes repetitive in addressing what is desired and what the staff member is actually doing which does not meet the standards for programming and customer service.

          It was also interesting to see that through the eyes of my family member and colleague, there were similarities in the area of communication anxiety and listening styles. I was more intrigued with the evaluation of my family member who evaluated my verbal aggressiveness as being moderate and my colleague’s response was similar to what I had evaluated as being at a significant level of crossing the line and being aggressive to the listener which could cause hurtful feelings.

          Upon assessing the evaluation, I do acknowledge that I need to be more attentive in the way I verbally communicate.  I must say that I would have considered myself to be an action-oriented person when it comes to listening. The evaluation results reflect that I am people-oriented listener. With this in mind, I need to find a medium in the way I listen and how I communicate in all settings whether small, large, or one on one.  I do not want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, yet I want to make sure that I am effective and productive in anything that I am apart of whether it be on the job, at home or in my community.

References

Communication Measures: Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. “Communication Anxiety Inventory" and "Verbal Aggressiveness Scale".  Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Routledge via the Copyright Clearance Center.

Communication Measure: Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. "Listening Styles Profile-16". Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Taylor & Francis via the Copyright Clearance Center.

Communication Styles

Communication is a growing process and for me it all depends on the setting.  I often find myself to be more apt to listening with minimum non-verbal expressions when I am in meetings with professional colleagues, those I supervise, parents and with those who I am not familiar.  When I am with my family and friends, I tend to tell it like it is as I see it with a lot of non-verbal expressions. 

After this week’s assignments, it has become clear to me that I need to look at myself and how I can be more effective in my communication styles so that people truly listen to what I am saying. “You develop a self-concept by thing about your strengths and weaknesses, observing your behavior in a wide variety of situations, witnessing your own reactions to situations, and watching others’ reaction to you (Synder, 1979)”, (O’Hair & Wiemann, p. 47, 2012).

I grew up learning the Golden Rule, the concept of treating others as you want to be treated.  This is not always true because others may not feel the way I feel or see things the way I see them.  The Platinum Rule, provides a way for others to see how to truly see how people want to be treated without perception. “Competent communicators want to learn and improve. They are motivated to enhance their ability to relate to others as they are”, (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, p. 107, 2011).  This is way it is important to get to know people and learn of their cultural upbringing without assuming or putting self-perception into play. “The less sure you are of the person’s qualities, the way the person will behave, or what will happen, the higher that degree of uncertainty”, (O’Hair, & Wiemann, p. 201, 2012).

 

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to

others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Chapter 4, "Interpersonal Communication

and Diversity: Adapting to Others" (pp. 85–114).

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communication Skills: Language, Nonverbal, Listening

This week’s assignment required me to look at a television show that I have never seen before.  This was not easy, but I remembered a show that I came across last spring called, “Community”.  This show is based on a lawyer who was scuppered when it is discovered that he has falsely claimed to have a bachelor's degree. He is suspended and enrolls himself into Community college. He forms a study group so that he can get closer to an attractive student. The study group includes a millionaire, a former drug addict, a former quarter-back, a single mother, and a film student.

As I watched “Community-Introduction to Teaching” in silence, I observed a lot of eye movement, hand gestures, questionable looks, swaying of the head, and faces full of angriness, confusion, frustration, doubt and a little compassion from teachers and students.  The show included classroom instruction time, facility instructors meeting together, the study group session, and individual meetings between facility instructors, instructors and students, and between students.

When I reviewed the show with voice dialog, I was able to put together the reason for my observations. The lawyer student was introduced to the role of a facility member.  His first day, the student who he was attracted to calls him out because he was not prepared to teach.  Throughout the show, there were numerous other encounters among the instructors and students. I am glad that I was able to understand why the film student (who participates in the study group) became overwhelmed and was acting out in his presentation assignment of watching a Nicholas Cage movie and providing thoughts about his acting skills.

As educators, we must be aware that verbal and nonverbal communication can be contradicting. Communication does have many facets and can be seen in different ways. “It is important to bear in mind, however, that just because we tend to place more stock in nonverbal communication doesn’t mean that we are always right,” (O’Hare & Wiemann, 2012, p. 130).  Just watching in silence, I would assume that the students and teachers did not really care for one another.  It is best to be provided the whole picture before making a decision or forming an opinion.

After watching this show, I was able to find that this show is relaxing with a little humor.  It is not one that I would continuously watch weekly, yet it would be an alternative if I could not find something more interesting.

    

                                         Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's. Chapter 5, “Nonverbal Communication”.

Competent Communicator

          Most recently I had the opportunity to observe my oldest daughter at her place of employment.  I was amazed at how she was so informative and maintained her composure while working with a patron who was displaying her frustration during the process of completing paperwork.  My daughter politely invited the patron to her desk, and asked "how can I assist you today". 

          After we left the office, I asked my daughter how she felt and she said that she could sense the tension when the patron first walked into the office.  So to ensure that the conversation remained pleasant and productive, my daughter said she thought the best way to handle this situation would be to keep smiling, maintain eye contact as the person spoke to her and provide answers that were direct and to the point.   My daughter also said that she continued to remember that everyone has a bad day and it is better to stay calm and collect. My daughter keeps a picture of a lighthouse on her desk that reminds her of being in an environment that is warm and pleasant.  This picture helps her to focus on what the patron needs and how to assist in meeting the need as the office motto is:  "The customer is always right".

          I am thankful for being able to observe my daughter role modeling the steps of being an effective communicator.  I liked how she took the time to listen, digest the information and then provide a solution based on the facts and not how she (my daughter) felt about the person. " A successful communicator needs to develop the ability to determine what is appropriate and what is not in a variety of cultures and situations", (O'Hare & Wiemann, 2012, p. 17)

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.